A Day at the Beach

Outstanding

Found here.

A Day at the Amusement Park

10 Halloween Treats Worse Than Yours

Last night, I gave out candy to a lot of trick-or-treaters. And although I gave out mini Kit-Kats and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, I couldn’t help but wonder what else I could have offered these young ghouls and ghosts. Here’s the best 10 I could come up with:

10. A handful of loose Milk Duds
9. Udon noodles
8. A bong hit
7. Foie Gras on a toast point
6. Carrot sticks
5. Ricola cough drops
4. A pamphlet about juvenile diabetes
3. A red dot squash ball
2. Spanish olives
1. An offer to come into my bedroom to spot me on my makeshift bench press